Cheap Wife

New Years Resolution: Blog More!

2012-01-02T14:34:00.000-08:00

I have completely disappeared from this blog over the past 3 months. I want to change that. This blog has turned into a diary of sorts and I really want to get better at documenting my life as a new mom. I love being able to look back at my life these past three years. Sarah is only going to be a baby once, and I want to make sure I record my memories of her.

So in addition to my other New Years resolution to lose the rest of the pregnancy weight, I resolve to blog more. I want to have this blog to look back on as Sarah gets older. I want to be able to remember all the little details that I am bound to forget in time.

I will start with my birth story and then I will go from there. Sarah will be 3 months old on January 4th. I have some catching up to do!

Welcome Sarah!

2011-11-15T11:34:00.000-08:00

I can't believe that it has taken me 6 weeks to return to this blog. My little girl is 6 weeks old today and I am just now announcing her arrival! Life with a newborn is crazy and exhausting, so I'm cutting myself some slack. :-)

I will write about my birth story in the next post, but I wanted to just stop by to formally introduce her.

Meet Sarah

Born 10/4/2011

6lbs 10oz

19.75 inches

Here's what she looks like now:

38 Weeks = Unexpected Developments

2011-09-29T23:24:00.000-07:00

I'm getting induced on Monday!!

The last few weeks my blood pressure has been a little high. It is not at a dangerous level yet, but my doctor decided today that she wants to just play it safe. I will be 39 weeks on Saturday and my doctor decided that at this point it is best for me to just deliver, rather than risk my pressure getting worse.

I'm so surprised. I really didn't expect this. I thought that I had 10 days until my due date and suddenly I only have 4 days until she arrives. Overall I am just really excited. I have grown really impatient with waiting and so eager to meet her. I also like knowing for sure what day she will arrive. There is no more waiting and guessing. Just a few more days and our baby girl will be here!

Entering The Home Stretch

2011-09-22T00:00:00.001-07:00

I can't beleive it! As of Saturday, I officially reached full-term. It feels like most of my pregnancy went by so fast. Now these last few weeks are just dragging by. I am so ready to meet our baby girl! Only 2 weeks and 2 days until my due date! I know that it's very likely that I will go past Oct. 8th, but I am really hoping that she comes a little early. I am impatient and uncomfortable.

Mystery Baby

2011-09-08T12:44:00.000-07:00

My husband and I have been talking a lot recently about who we think our baby will be. What will her personality be like, what she will look like, etc. I think it's fascinating that we are waiting for this little person who we know nothing about. One reason I am so excited to meet her is because I cannot wait to have so many questions answered. Will she have hair? Will she have my lips? Will she have my husband's eyes? I am not the most patient person. After 10 long months of waiting I can't wait to see our child.

I found these two baby pictures of my husband and myself. I look at them and try to imagine what our baby will look like.

The Longest Christmas-Eve Ever

2011-09-04T23:26:00.000-07:00

Being pregnant sometimes feels like the night before Christmas. I am so excited for Christmas morning that I almost can't take it. Unlike the real thing though, this Christmas-eve is lasting forever! Maybe this is what makes it even more exciting. Not only do you have to wait so long, but the gift at the end is going to the most amazing gift you have ever received. I feel so excited and impatient. I can't wait to meet our little girl!

38 Days!

2011-09-01T00:08:00.000-07:00

I have 38 days left until my due date! It's really hard to believe that I am almost a month away. I feel VERY pregnant right now. My belly is big and it's getting more and more difficult to get up from the couch. I was trying to bend over the other night to pick up a dog food bowl and it was almost impossible.

Right now baby girl is breech. She did not just recently flip to a head up position, she has never been head down. She is such a stubborn little baby! haha! I hope she flips because if she stays head up, I will have to get a c-section. Right now I am trying to just relax about this because I know there is still a lot of time. Babies often turn in the final few weeks.

Regardless of how she makes her arrival, I am really ready for her to be born. Not only am I dying to meet her, I have just reached the point where I no longer want to be pregnant. It's uncomfortable. I have found myself wishing recently that she would come a little early. I will be considered full term in a little over 2 weeks. I would love it if she came a week or two early, but I know the chances of that happening are slim. I just hope she doesn't make me suffer and decide to wait a week or two after my due date. haha!

Maternity Pictures

2011-08-24T00:00:00.002-07:00

Two weeks ago we took our maternity pictures at a park near our home. The disc of the images just came in the mail today and I am so happy with how they turned out.

Evolution of the Engagement Ring

2011-08-23T17:07:00.001-07:00

Many years ago my husband's Great Grandfather created this drawing. It's called "Evolution of the engagement ring". It has since become a family tradition that whenever a married couple in the family became pregnant with their first child, they were given a copy. Everyone in my husband's family has this hanging somewhere in their home.

Our baby shower was this weekend and it was our turn to receive the drawing. I think it is so funny and clever. I love it and can't wait to find a good place in our home to display it.

Advice To My Future Self

2011-08-16T00:00:00.011-07:00

I just watched this video and was almost moved to tears.

"We asked moms if they could go back to before their first baby, what would they tell themselves. These are their answers."

For anyone who is a new mom or a mom-to-be, these are some very wise words of advice.

Maternity Pictures

2011-08-15T11:01:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had our maternity pictures taken. They already completed a few teaser pictures and I wanted to share.I love how they turned out!

What a difference 3 months makes

2011-08-09T12:15:00.000-07:00

Here is a picture of me wearing the same shirt at week 19 and week 31. That belly is sure growing! :-)

Nursery Progress

2011-08-05T11:32:00.015-07:00

Working on the nursery has been such a fun project. I didn't start it until the end of June after I finished school, and I'm pretty impressed with how far I have come in a little over a month. I still have more to do. I need to hang all the wall art and my mother-in-law is helping me make drapes for the windows. Many of the basics though are already done, so I thought I would share what I have so far. In true Cheap Wife style, the nursery has been a budget project. I like to search for things on craigslist or the clearance department. I could never afford to buy one of those fancy matching nursery sets, so the furniture is a mix of different pieces. Somehow I think that baby won't mind. :-)

The nursery is mostly pink & green with a garden theme. I was going to do an animal theme but then I inherited a great bedding set from a cousin. The bedding has flowers on it so have designed the room around the bedding. I still bought some wall art that has animals though. I figure that animals live in nature...so it still works! haha!

I found this rug at Ikea. I love how it makes the room look and it tones down the pink elements. I did not want a pink princess room, so I have been trying to incorporate a lot of green to balance everything out. This rug really pulls the room together. I love it!

I found this shelf on craigslist. It retails for $50 and I bought it for $25. I love a deal!! I then bought the pink and green fabric bins at Target. I use the bins to store little things like socks, hats, and bibs. The open spaces will be great for things like books and toys. The print hanging on the wall I found at Ross for $15.

Almost all the bedroom closets do not have doors. My husband bought the house before we met and for some reason he removed all the doors. When I moved in I bought curtains for all the closets so we could have a way to hid the mess. It also just added a more finished look. I found these curtains for the nursery on clearance at Walmart for only $18 for the pair. I love how these drapes perfectly match all the other colors in the room .

Baby clothes are so tiny that I wanted to take advantage of the extra space by putting a dresser in the closet. The nursery is small, so this was a huge space saver! This dresser isn't the cutest, but it was an old dresser we already owned. (ie...FREE!) Maybe someday I will paint it, but for now I am lazy and leaving it as-is. :-)

I found this decal on one of those daily deal sites. It is from Wall Pops and is normally $35, but I was able to get it for only $15! It was so easy. I put it up in less than an hour and it fills up almost the entire wall behind the crib. What I love about decals is that you can remove them and re-arrange them, and unlike a painted mural I will never have to paint over it.

I adore these little painting!! They are so cute. I bought them at a children's consignment sale for only $6. I am going to hang them near the crib and the little bugs will fit in perfectly with the wall decal.

So that's what a little look at the nursery. When everything is done I will post again with the finished product.

29 Weeks: Brain Dump

2011-07-29T17:18:00.002-07:00

Things are going really well with my pregnancy overall. I can certainly tell though that I have entered into my third trimester. I have started getting many new pregnancy symptoms.

I'm hot all the time and I live in Seattle where the temps are in the 60's and 70's. I honestly don't know how women do it in other parts of the country. It will be 60 degrees and I will get a hot flash. Today it was only 75 degrees and I am in a tank top, drinking an iced coffee, and sweating my butt off. I keep thinking "What would I do if it was 100 degrees??!" People were asking a month or two ago if I was hot yet, and were surprised that I told them no. A few weeks ago, I just woke up one day and I was HOT. Now feeling hot and sweaty is a daily occurrence.

Along with the sweating has coming another symptom, swelling. So far it is mostly just my fingers but it got bad enough that I finally had to remove my wedding rings and buy a $20 sterling silver ring at Target to wear in its place. I'm by no means old fashion, but I wanted to still look like a married pregnant lady. My cheap-o replacement does the trick. :-)

A good night's sleep seems to have become a thing of the past. I have terrible insomnia every night and am almost always up until at least 2am. I am also sleeping on the couch every night at this point. I can't get comfortable in bed and since I am having trouble sleeping, I find it much easier to lie on the couch watching TV until I fall asleep. I record episode after episode of Law & Order during the day and I joke that if my pregnancy had a soundtrack, it would be the opening theme to that show. I watch it every night and when I have really bad insomnia, I have watched up to 3 episodes in a row. Thank god for my TIVO!

My belly is now big enough that it gets in the way. I usually sit on the couch and type on my laptop while it's sitting on the coffee table. This requires me to lean forward, and my belly is big enough that I can't do this anymore. I also can't eat dinner leaning over the coffee table like I always do. For a few days this week I just took my plate, leaned back, and rested it on my belly. Last night I finally gave in and hauled out one of the much taller TV trays that we received as a wedding gift. Who would think that the simplest things like reaching my lap top or my plate now require so much work! haha!

I don't feel like I am that big yet, but I'm starting to have a hard time doing things I used to take for granted. Getting up and down from the floor is now a lot more work. I was cleaning out a cabinet the other night. Not only did I have a hard time leaning forward to clean out the back of it because my belly was in the way, I was sweating by the end after getting up and down off the floor a few times. I actually almost started to cry. I felt so ridiculous that something as small as cleaning out a cabinet and getting up off the floor was leaving my exhausted. I don't feel that much bigger but I notice that my body has changed and doing almost everything is just different. I knew this would happen but it's still a little hard to cope with. I understand that I can't run a mile, but having a hard time even getting up and down from the floor is a little embarrassing.

28 Weeks

2011-07-17T23:48:00.003-07:00

I can't believe that I'm 7 months pregnant! During the first trimester it felt like the pregnancy was taking forever, but now it's speeding by. She will be here in a little less than 3 months!

I have been doing really well so far. Overall pregnancy has been pretty easy. My only complaint is that I have such a hard time going to sleep. Insomnia seems to be a nightly routine. Other than that, I have been really lucky. I have other symptoms that go along with my growing belly, but nothing too bad. I'm starting to walk differently and move differently. It's getting a little harder to get down on the floor when I'm looking for a missing shoe under the couch. My hands swell after I walk the dogs. But like I said, I feel pretty lucky so far. I know I could have things much worse. With 3 months to go, I know I am only going to get bigger and who knows what symptoms I will have next month. Just because I have been lucky so far doesn't mean bad symptoms are not going to pop up. So far I feel lucky, but I know this can still change at any time. :-)

25 Weeks Pregnant: Ups & Downs

2011-06-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

Ups:

*I got the letter from the doctor saying that I do NOT have gestational diabetes!! What a huge relief.

*I love that I am 6 months pregnant. That number just feels like a huge milestone.

*Starting the nursery has been so much fun. Setting up the crib, washing clothes and hanging them in the closet. Shopping for bookshelves, dressers, and art for the wall. It's such a fun little project!

Downs:

I don't have many complaints. I feel really lucky.

*I have trouble sleeping because I just can't get comfortable. I am thankful though that I am able to sleep through the night without getting up a bunch of times to use the restroom. I know this will change in a few weeks.

*I have started having some breathless symptoms but it is not too bad yet. This is something that I have been really worried about since getting pregnant. I have a lot of problems with anxiety and panic attacks. I'm worried how I will handle feeling like I can't breath. Currently I am just trying to relax and take things as they come.

24 Weeks

2011-06-20T12:00:00.003-07:00

What a difference 6 weeks make! Here is a comparison of my belly at 18 weeks and 24 weeks.

Starting The Nursery

2011-06-19T15:42:00.000-07:00

I had been waiting until I finished school to start working on the nursery. I spend the past 2 days cleaning out the room which had been being used as storage. We are not going to re-paint the room, but I did repaint the molding to make it look clean and fresh. Today we set-up the crib. I love how it turned out! I'm really excited to start making a room for our baby girl.

Cheap Wife Graduates College!

2011-06-13T13:50:00.000-07:00

I finally did it!! Yesterday was my college graduation from Central Washington University.

My whole family was there. My mom and her husband.

My dad and my brothers

My in-laws came too

For years I had been waiting to have kids until I graduated college. Everything has worked out just as I planned. I graduated in June and the baby will arrive in October. Life is good. :-)

Thrift Store Finds

2011-06-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

I love a good deal! I have always been a huge thrift store shopper. You can find so many things that are in great shape and almost look brand new. I bought some clothes for the baby this weekend and was able to get 3 pieces for only $5.50. Check out the great stuff I found:

My favorite find is this adorable pink velour hoodie. I got this for only $1.50!

I found this super sweet looking onesie for $2.50. (I haven't washed it yet so it's still pretty wrinkled) I love the little giraffe on the front.

I also got this cute warm and fuzzy fleece sleeper. Even though it is a size 6-9 months, I have a feeling that we are going to have a big baby and she will be able to wear this at the end of the winter. If not it's ok because I got it for only $1.50.

Getting great deals is so much fun!

21 Weeks

2011-05-30T16:38:00.001-07:00

How far along: 21 weeks 2 days
Total weight gain/loss: 13lbs
Maternity clothes? Pretty much all I wear now.
Movement: Yes!!! :-) It started at about 18 weeks. Feel like little muscle twinges. Now I feel these strong kicks. A few times I think my husband would have been able to feel it too but he wasn't around at the time
Food cravings: So many random cravings. I will see or smell something and suddenly I have the worst craving for it. My cravings are always changing.
How are you feeling this week? Still feeling good. The only problem is a lot of pain in my lower right back and hip. Taking prenatal yoga seems to help though
Milestones: Laying in bed a few days ago and the baby kicked so hard that it made me jump. I almost woke up my husband. It was the first time that I thought I could feel it from the outside. I can't wait for the time when my husband can feel the kicks!

Dreams of Graduation

2011-05-25T16:32:00.000-07:00

I'm in the home stretch of the long journey towards one of my biggest goals; graduating college! It's hard to beleive that I am here. I started this journey back in 1999. I went to school, took time off, went back, and took time off again. Sometimes it felt like I was never going to make it. Many times it felt like graduation was just a dream far far away. It's hard to beleive that in only a few short weeks, it will be a reality.

It doesn't feel real yet. I haven't let myself beleive it. That's because I still have so much work left to do. 4 big papers and a final, I can't relax just yet. I think it will hit me on June 9th when I turn in my last paper. I have a feeling that it will hit me like a ton of bricks and I will burst into tears.

Other than getting married and starting a family, there is nothing that I wanted more than to graduate college. I dropped out of high school when I was 17. I always felt behind everyone else my age and I never felt happy with where I was in life. This goal has been hanging over my head for so many years. I knew that I couldn't give up because I did not want to live my life with regret. I have lived with these feelings for so long, I can't beleive that this burden is about to be lifted.

On June 12th I will put on my cap and gown and I will receive my diploma. I can't beleive that moment is almost here! :-)

Begining Of The Bump

2011-05-24T12:14:00.000-07:00

It is so exciting to watch the baby bump start to emerge. I am finally making the transition from looking like I ate too many cheeseburgers to actually looking pregnant. I'm finding that I love wearing my maternity tops because I actually want to show off my belly. As someone who has never been a size 2, this is a new experience for me. We spend our whole lives trying to hide our bellies and make them look smaller. Suddenly I am wearing clothes to make my belly look bigger! It's a fun change. :-)

A Girl!

2011-05-19T15:04:00.000-07:00

I was so thrilled when they told me today that our little baby is a girl!! Here is a profile shot from today's ultrasound. I have been grinning from ear-to-ear all day. :-)

The end of "It"

2011-05-18T17:05:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the big day! We find out if the baby is a boy or a girl! I am so excited to finally stop calling the baby an "it". This pregnancy certainly feels real, but knowing the gender is going to make it feel so much more real. People ask if I have a preference, and yes I do. I really want "it" to be a "her". :-) Someone asked me why, and I am honestly not really sure. Maybe it is because I am a girl, so I understand them. Maybe it's because girl clothes are so darn cute! My usual answer is that I know I want a girl, and if the first one is a girl it will take the pressure off when we have a second child. As silly as it sounds, part of me will be sad if we have two boys. I don't mind having one of each, but I would really like to have a daughter. Though even as I say that, it is really true that all you want is a healthy baby. It used to sound so cliche, but now that I am pregnant I really understand how true that statement really is.

Even if we learn it is a boy, it will just be so exciting to finally know. After 20 weeks of wondering, tomorrow we will finally be able to start picturing who our first child will be. I feel like it's the night before the best Christmas morning ever!

Baby Belly

2011-05-08T20:54:00.000-07:00

15 weeks 17 weeks 18 weeks

Week 17

2011-05-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Time just keeps ticking along. It felt like the first couple months went by really slowly, now it seems to be picking up. Doesn't seem very long ago that I was only 6 weeks pregnant, and here it is 11 weeks later. I still have a long way to go. Not even at the halfway point, but I can't believe that 20 weeks is only 3 weeks away. October both feels like forever away, but also right around the corner.

How far along: 17 weeks 2 days

Total weight gain/loss: 9lbs. (Gaining weight is hard! I know it's normal and I am on track, but I am terrified of going way over. I don't want to gain 50lbs for a 9lbs baby! haha!)

Maternity clothes? I have been wearing maternity pants since about week 13. I have not needed shirts yet, but I think that's coming soon.

Movement: Nothing yet. I am reading into every little thing. I feel like I am trying to will the flutters to start. I cannot wait until I feel movement. I know it's going to happen any day now.

Food cravings: Fruit. I have been really into fruit since I got pregnant. Especially oranges and grapes.

How are you feeling this week? I'm feeling really good. My only complaint is that it's starting to get hard to get comfortable at night. I am someone who always sleeps on my stomach and that is getting uncomfortable and soon impossible. I am just not a "side sleeper", but I am going to have to learn. I think it's time to order a body pillow.

Milestones: I'm starting to get a belly! It still feels more like a muffin top than a round belly, but in the past week it is starting to change and get round. It's starting to show thru my loose t-shirts and that's a first.

Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T17:00:00.000-07:00

I stayed up until 4:30am to watch the Royal Wedding. I had planned to just Tivo it and get a good night sleep, but I am SO happy that I watched it live!

What a magical experience. I loved all the pomp and circumstance, but what I really loved were all the "real" moments. I loved seeing Kate and William steal looks at each other. I loved seeing the genuine smiles and looks of love and happiness in their eyes.

I remembered how I felt on my wedding day. I sat on my couch in the middle of the night watching the ceremony and smiled from ear to ear. And wiped a few tears. ;-)

Are You Ready For A Baby?

2011-04-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

A friend sent this to me and I was laughing so hard. This is some funny stuff!! :-)

HOW TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE READY TO HAVE A BABY

MESS TEST
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.

Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not available, you may
substitute roofing tacks or broken bottles.) Have a friend spread them
all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or
kitchen. Do not scream (this could wake a child at night).

GROCERY STORE TEST

Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with
you as you shop at the grocery store. Always keep them in sight and
pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST

Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag
making sure that all arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST

Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from
the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert
spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the
mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the
contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST

Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds
of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and
hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm
for 10:00 PM.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have
ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00
AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up
for 5 years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST

Obtain a large bean-bag chair and attach it to the front of your
clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT

Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they
can improve their child's discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet
training, and table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve.
Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run
wild.

Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the
answers.

The Long Journey of Pregnancy

2011-04-26T17:55:00.000-07:00

I am not a patient person. I like immediate gratification. Pregnancy doesn't allow for that luxury. Pregnancy is filled with waiting...and waiting...and waiting some more. I joke that pregnancy is a lesson in patience. In try to remind myself that October will be here before I know it, but right now it feels so far away.

The current thing on my "waiting list" is the 20 week appointment. On May 19th we will learn if we are having a boy or a girl. I can't take the suspense! I think this next month is going to go by very slowly. :-)

15 Weeks: Ups & Downs

2011-04-20T16:13:00.001-07:00

Ups:

* I am so thankful to be done with the first trimester. Though you are never truly safe from loss, the chance of miscarriage has almost vanished. It is nice to not have to worry about this like I did the first few months.

* I am finally starting to see changes in my belly. I currently just look like I ate too many cheeseburgers....but I still feel as though I am on my way to developing a baby bump.

* I still have days where I feel tired, but I feel SO much better than I did a month or two ago. During the first trimester I would crash around 2:00pm and would nap every day for a few hours.

Downs:

* Round ligament pain! Sometimes it's sharp pain when I roll over in bed. Other times it is this dull stretching feeling. I feel as though my insides are made of rubber bands that are slowly being stretched.

* I thought that in the second trimester, you were supposed to stop having to wake up to pee a zillion times a night?! This hasn't been the case for me yet. I still wake up 2-3 times a night.

* I sleep so poorly now. I used to be such a heavy sleeper and could always fall back asleep if I was woken up. Now I wake up throughout the night, and often I will have a hard time falling back asleep. I feel like I spend the night tossing and turning.

* I'm really eager to "pop". Right now I just look a little extra pudgy in my belly. I can't wait for my round pregnant belly to develop. Right now I just feel flabby.

* Not really a down....but my dreams are CRAZY! Ever since I was about 5 weeks pregnant, the dreams started. They are so vivid and so odd. Sometimes they are nightmares and sometimes they are just plain weird. For example, one night I dreamed that I was out with a friend and we met a man in a dog costume. My friend and I both thought this "dog man" was incredibly attractive. We couldn't see his face....we thought the costume itself was so darn hot! haha! What the heck is up with that?!!

Pregtastic

2011-04-13T17:18:00.000-07:00

My new favorite podcast is Pregtastic. I listen to it all the time. I have probably listened to 3/4 of the 200+ episodes. It's a podcast featuring pregnant women and each week they talk about different issues, such as breast feeding, prenatal exercise, gestational diabetes, etc. I have been like a sponge, eagerly soaking up all this new information.

One of my favorite parts of the show is when all the ladies go around and give their "two ups and two downs" for the week. I like it so much that I think I will start doing similar posts throughout my pregnancy.

If you also pregnant, I highly recommend Pregtasic. It's such a wonderful place for information and it helps you get through those long drives, workouts, or household chores. :-)

Finding Out I Was Pregnant

2011-04-07T15:52:00.000-07:00

It was a Saturday at the end of January and my period was due to start. That morning I felt some weird cramps but my period had not started yet. It was the first month that we had been actually "trying". I was even using an app on my ipod that tracked my fertile week. At 31, I did not want to waste any time. :-)

That morning I think I had checked for my period maybe 10 times. By noon I just couldn't take it anymore. I went to the grocery store and bought a bunch of food so that I could bury the pregnancy test at the bottom of the cart. My period was not even late yet but I've always been very impatient, so I went to buy a test the day I was due to start.

My husband was gone all day at a conference. I honestly expected the test to be negative and I bought a test so that I wouldn't get my hopes up. I figured that I was just over thinking everything and the test would show me that. Imagine my surprise when I looked at the test and saw the faintest of pink lines. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I kept looking at it. Moving from room to room to inspect it in different light, but no matter how I looked at it the lines were still there.

I did the most stereotypical thing. I rushed to the store to buy a different brand of test. I remember standing in line with the test tucked under my arm trying to hide it from the other people in line. All I could think was "OMG! Please don't let me see someone I know right now!!" My hands were shaking and I called my friend on the way home from the store. She laughed and told me that no matter how faint the line was, if it was positive I was pregnant. I am not someone who is often speechless yet I kept stuttering and stumbling over my words. My mind was racing. Though I had dreamed of getting pregnant, I didn't think it would happen the very first month we tried.

Sure enough, I took the 2nd test and it was also positive. At this point it was about 1:00pm and I had to wait until after 10pm for my husband to come home. The wait was killing me. I felt like the afternoon and evening went by sooooo slowly. I couldn't tell him the news over a phone call or text message. Later that night he finally came home and I sat there for maybe 5 minutes listening to him tell me about his day. I couldn't wait anymore and I just blurted out "I think I'm pregnant!!" In the movies you see guys who jump and scream with excitement but I have a feeling that does not happen as often in real life. He looked shocked and the first thing he said was "Wow! I wish we had had more time." haha! Nope...certainly not the reaction you see in the movies, but I couldn't blame him. I felt the same way. I was just so stunned. Even though I had wanted this for as long as I could remember, it felt so overwhelming when it was actually happening.

The two tests had only given me a very faint positive so I told him that I would take another one first thing in the morning. This time I wouldn't have to see the results alone. The next morning I woke up and took another test. Sure enough, the results were the same. I was pregnant!

Baby Cheap Wife!!

2011-04-04T17:12:00.000-07:00

Big News! I have been dying to share.......I'm pregnant!! :-) I am so thrilled! Today I am 13 weeks and 3 days. Baby CW is due October 8th.

Our 8 week ultrasound :-)

I am excited to have TONS to start blogging about again. haha!

Spring Break!

2011-03-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

I finished my last final yesterday and now I get to enjoy a break for the next week and a half. It's really hard to beleive that this is my last break before my final quarter! I am 31 years old, and I have been in school on and off for the past 12 years. I have been in school without a break since I met my husband 4 years ago. Finishing college has been my greatest, and seemingly most elusive goal. I cannot beleive that in June I will FINALLY graduate!

New Orleans: Beignets & Cemeteries

2011-02-08T22:10:00.000-08:00

When we planned our trip to New Orleans, I was really excited for 2 things: eating beignets and seeing the famous above ground cemeteries. When it comes to beignets, Cafe Du Monde is the place to go. They are open 24 hours a day and all they serve are beignets. (and coffee of course!) The beignets were better than I had imagined. They came out hot and covered in powdered sugar. I think it's safe to say that beignets at Cafe Du Monde are my favorite part of New Orleans. We even stopped and had a few right before leaving for the airport. They are THAT good!

Then it was time to head over to one of the most famous cemeteries in the city, St. Louis No. 1. I was so excited when we walked up the street and the cemetery came into view. I was the dork who kept saying over and over again; "It looks just like I imagined! It looks just like on tv!". There is something so cool about roaming around a cemetery dating back to the 1700's.

There were the free-standing tombs and then there were also these "wall vaults".

I did some research before our trip and I learned that in New Orleans, they put entire families in one tomb.Generations spanning over a hundred years would all be in the same tomb. It's not just one person to a grave in these cemeteries. They bury someone and later when another family member dies, they open it back up and add the next person. It was crazy to think about how many people where buried in just this one cemetery.

I was really eager to see this next tomb. The 3rd most visited tomb in the world, Voodoo Queen, Marie Laveau.

People come here, make wishes, and leave offerings for wishes granted or wishes they hope will be granted. The 3 X's are from an old legend that said you were to knock on her tomb 3 times and turn around three times while saying her name. Then you were to mark 3 X's and if the wish is granted, the person is to return and circle the marks. I was watching some tour videos before our trip and I heard a guide say that it's really just desecration. She said that all you need to do it put your hand on the tomb and make a wish. As you can tell from all the marks though, the legend lives on. I personally don't like the idea of marking historic places, especially something sacred like a grave or a tomb. It does just seem like desecration to me. So we took the "put you hand on the tomb and wish" approach.

Before our trip I joked that I was going to wish that I would get pregnant this year. Afterwards I laughed and told my husband; "Maybe if I get pregnant and it's a girl, we will have to name her Marie!" haha!

I love this last image. Something really odd about old tombs with modern buildings in the background. The cemetery is next to downtown and we kept remarking how it felt like stepping back in time, until we looked up at the skyline. haha!

New Orleans: Touring the French Quarter

2011-01-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

When we went to New Orleans, I was most excited to visit the French Quarter. This is what you think of, when you think of New Orleans. It was just I had imagined. I kept joking with my husband; "It looks just like it does on TV!" I took SO many pictures in New Orleans but I bet well over 50% were just of the buildings in this one neighborhood. It's amazing to visit a city with such a rich history. Many buildings date back to the 1700's. The first day in New Orleans we were so lucky with sunny skies and temps in the high 60's. Coming from weather in the 30's back home, we were thrilled to walk around in short sleeves!

I loved all these colored shutters and doors!

I am going to put a few of these pictures in frames and hang them together in our home.

The colors were just amazing!

James in one of the MANY cool doorways

I just loved the shutters

All throughout the French Quarter were these cool gas lanterns that would flicker at night. Really gave you the feeling of stepping back in time

After walking around the French Quarter, we headed over the one of the most famous above ground cemeteries in New Orleans. I will save that for the next post. :-)

New Orleans Recaps

2011-01-28T10:31:00.000-08:00

We returned from our New Orleans vacation a week ago, and we had a blast!! Over the next week I am going to share my recaps.

New Orleans was as good, if not better, than I had hoped. I fell in love with this city. The food, the music, the history, the people....it was all amazing!! :-)

If you have never been to New Orleans, I highly recommend it! I cannot wait to return.

Blogging - A Place For Me

2011-01-27T23:37:00.000-08:00

For most of us, this is a place for "us". A place to be ourselves and to talk to fellow people in the community.

I used to heavily self-edit. Then some personal issues happened and I chose honesty, because it was what I needed to get through my pain. Though others may be bothered with what I say or how I feel, this is my place. It was a way for me to heal and to work through pain that was very deep.

My honesty is of course still filtered....as I think all of us are to some extent. I don't put everything in my life online, but I do not apologize for the times that I shared more than others thought I should. At 31 years old I have to live my life for myself. Too often in my life I have made considerations for people who did not do the same for me.

Have you encountered people who were upset with what your shared on your blog? How did you handle it?

Do you choose to self-edit to the point of Clorox clean, or do you chose honesty?

A Very Furry Christmas

2010-12-25T13:19:00.000-08:00

This is the first time that I will be working over the holidays. We have a house full of dogs and a few cat sitting jobs that last until New Years.This is certainly a different type of Christmas for me. It's a little more structured and busy, but it's worth it. Working over Christmas means that I am self-employed and I get to work from home. Plus having a house full of dogs is a pretty nice way to spend Christmas :-)

We have a funny looking bunch of dogs with us for Christmas. Ranging in size from the huge Mastiff to the small beagle/poodle mix.

Chaca and Piper dreaming of Santa coming :-)

With blankets covering the furniture and dog toys on the floor: We have a "dog living room" look this Christmas. haha!

Happy Holiday Everyone!

Bayou Bound!

2010-12-13T23:08:00.001-08:00

We just booked a trip to New Orleans!

It's one of those "just for the heck of it" kinda trips. We have earned some free flights that we needed to use or lose. I have always wanted to visit New Orleans and it was just the perfect combination. All my classes next quarter are online and winter is the slow time for my husband's business. It's the off season in New Orleans and we were able to find a decent hotel room in the French Quarter for only $70 a night.

County Inn & Suites - I love the old look of it all

We booked a trip from January 16th to 21st, and I am so excited! There are so many things I want to see and do. So many things that I want to EAT! I can't wait try Beignets. From what I have read they are like deep fried square doughnuts with powered sugar on top. I plan to visit Cafe Du Monde many many times during our trip.

I really want to take a swap tour and see some gators! I'm looking forward to visiting some of those cool cemeteries.

And I can't wait to walk around the city and take in all the amazing architecture. There is so much to see in New Orleans, I can't wait!

Have you ever been to New Orleans? What should we see?

Brain Dump

2010-12-10T00:15:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that I have been having a hard time finding time to blog or anything I wanted to talk about. So, today I take the easy way. Instead of writing something cohesive, I'm doing a brain dump.

Today we took a trip to see Santa. My husband's Aunt owns a store that hosts Santa every year. It's great because it's free and you take you own pictures. The best part is that you can bring your dog!

I just finished with finals week and I am so thankful to have a month off school. I had a hard time focusing this quarter and I didn't do my best work. I am ready for a break and to start fresh in January. I need to keep my motivation up because I am only 6 months away from this:

....graduating college after 11 years of working towards this goal! I am so close yet it is also terrifying. I am not really sure why, but I have been filled with fear for months. I think it is because it means so much to me and there is so much riding on this. I know that "this is it" and I cannot falter. So I put one foot in front of the other...I am getting there.

One of the biggest reasons I am eager to finish school is BABIES! We are waiting to start a family until I graduate. Finishing school has been such a big goal and I didn't want to risk not finishing by taking another break. So at 31 years old, and with people all around me getting pregnant, I have been waiting. Just trying to get through school so that we too could start a family. The time is rapidly approaching and I could be more ready. The baby fever is kicking into high gear. I feel like every day another friend, acquaintance or blogger is announcing her pregnancy. I.AM.SO.READY.

The holidays are coming up and it's hard. Fences have still not been mended. That is something that I am also taking one step at a time. Some days are hard...others are easier. I am getting there in my own time and hopefully in a few months things will not be so fractured. But for now I am thankful for the love or my wonderful husband and the knowledge that we are creating our own family.

My Other Blog Is A Dog

2010-11-30T22:39:00.002-08:00

Though I don't spend very much time on my personal blog lately, I try to keep a bit more updated with my business blog. I launched my business almost five months ago and I'm amazed by how quickly it has taken off. I am really surprised by the turns my life has taken. I never guessed one year ago that I would be a self-employed business owner right now. I love the way things are turning out and I am excited by all the possibilities!

I keep a blog so that potential clients can get a feel for me and my business. I also blog so that clients can see pictures of their pets after they have stayed with us. If you want to follow my adventures in pet sitting, check out the Tailor Made Pet Sitting blog.

I post pictures like these. :-)

Blogger Disconnect

2010-11-11T14:21:00.004-08:00

Where have I been? I used to be on here all the time.

It's funny how things changed after the wedding. All the thoughts and ideas that I couldn't wait to pour into this blog...they all just dried up. Now I am just living my life. No longer am I planning something that puts me in common with everyone else who is planning the same big event. So what happens after the wedding?

I feel like if I was pregnant, I would suddenly have so much to talk about again. But right now....I honestly don't know how I ever found the time to blog before. It's hard to keep up with school, with running my business, and my marriage. Blogging seems to have slipped to the very bottom of the priority list. It's not even on the radar anymore.

Am I the only one who feels such a disconnect? I am amazed by people like Jenna and Mandy who are mom's and are able to keep up on their blogs. I don't even have a baby and I can't keep up.

It makes me sad that I have become so disconnected from the blogging world.

Birthday

2010-10-23T00:19:00.001-07:00

Yep...today is my birthday. I really can't believe that I am 31....time goes by so quickly! We are going to have a Halloween themed party tonight. James and I are dressing up as Snookie and Pauly D. I already have my bronzer and slippers ready to go! haha!!!

It Gets Better

2010-10-20T15:57:00.001-07:00

When I was young, I had times when I was suicidal. I felt alone and I was scared and I wanted the pain to end. I know what it is like. But I also know now, that it gets better.

As bad as things are right now, I don't go "there" anymore. I may feel so close to the edge, but I NEVER really think that I ever would ever take my own life. As sad as I am, I know that if I just hang on, it will get better. You have to keep living and keep fighting, so that you are THERE to see it get better. In honor of today....It Gets Better

My former classmate in the last video. This person is actually someone who inspired me and influenced me a great deal when I was in 9th grade and he was in 11th. He was strong and he was proud and it taught me to feel the same way about myself. He was a person, as was Dan Savage who helped me get through my young teenage life. It is personally important to have them included in this list of clips. You never know how your actions will help another. Neither of these people know how much they helped me when I was young and standing on the edge. I looked at them and I saw; "It Gets Better"

It's All About Timing

2010-10-19T17:33:00.000-07:00

Well wouldn't you know that a letter arrived in the mail today from my Father! I just posted a blog last night that I started writing over the weekend. I post this blog and at the same time a letter is in the mail coming my way. Too weird!

My birthday is on Saturday so I have been a bit on edge. I didn't know what ot expect from either of my parents. I have worried that something like this letter might come in the mail. It's not that I hate them but I am FAR too mentally unstable right now to deal with either of them. I am trying to become stable and just make it thru the day. It takes all of my effort to keep up in school and manage my business and my marriage. When I am in a place where I am stable and those 3 things are "ok", then and only then can I deal with the next thing. Family may be the most important thing.....but that is next to "the self". Taking care of myself is more important than my parents and my family relationships. I have to be my own #1 priority.

Last month I told my husband "I will choose the pain of being disconnected over the pain of the up and down and upheaval". It is incredibly painful to not be speaking with my family. My birthday this Saturday is a reminder that really hurts. But I choose THAT pain over entering the spiral of a mental breakdown by dealing with this. I am in my final year of school. I have fought so hard to be here. I cannot let them prevent me from doing what I need to do.

I have not read it and I do not plan to until Thursday. As you can tell from last night's post, I am not doing well. I can barley keep up with what I need to do and I and I am spent into a spiral so easily. With a school assignment due today and tomorrow, I will not allow myself to be thrown off. I will not give time to that letter. I do not want to open that letter and become too overwhelmed to do what I NEED to do. I need to finish my work and then on MY time, in a few days....I will open it.

I felt so bad for my husband. The letter came and he said he stood there for 5 minutes just looking at it.. He didn't know how to tell me and he didn't want to. But he also knew that he couldn't keep that information from me. It took me less than 2 second to say "Not know. I am not reading that. I have TOO much that needs to be done in the next 2 days. I need to finish stats my midnight. Put it away. Actually, hide it. I will open it on Thursday".

So now I try to back to what I was supposed to be doing today. I am trying to forget what I was told. Trying to put it out of my mind. Working on my school work and trying to pass my classes. I am not going down without a fight.

Depression Hurts

2010-10-18T23:34:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I started talking about some problems in my life. Months have passed, and instead of improving, things have gotten much worse. It's been a mix is internal and external factors. As a result I have been battling with major depression for the past few months. Days when I wake up crying and I go to bed doing the same thing. I get angry and I yell. I feel anxious and irritable.

The hardest part, or one of them, is what this does to my poor husband. He is an amazing, supportive, and loving man. He wants nothing more than for me to "get better", but he doesn't know how to help. He tries to make me happy but he knows that things are beyond anything he can do to fix.

Before the 4th of July, things were bad. The setting for what happened on the 4th is more complex than I explained previously. I was not feeling well the entire month of June. I had become very depressed and felt really emotionally unstable.

This was brought on by the medication I had been on for my ADD. I tried medication when I was first diagnosed in high school, but the "speed" made me feel terrible so I stopped. I have had a hard time getting through school the past few years, so I decided it was time to explore the medication option again. I was hearing that medication had come leaps and bounds from the "Ritalin only" world I was living in during 1995. After months of working with my Doctor, I started Adderall XR in January. At first it was great. It was finally able to sit still and focus. As things usually work with medication, you adjust your dose. The goal is that you will raise it a few times and you will then hit a dose where is seems to work long term. I have found that mental health and medication involves a great deal of trial and error. There is no way to know how medication will effect different people. So, you try things to see what works and what doesn't. In my case, the medication created a problem where there had not been one. Emotional instability, depression, irritability, all brought on by the medication.

When I looked back at it a few weeks later, I realized that raising my dose was when everything started. There was stress at work and in school, and with my family. I was suddenly unable to handle any stress. I was "breaking down" all the time and I felt so sensitive. I cried constantly and I felt that everyone was being mean to me. I had the "thinnest skin". Things were so bad that I had to take a leave of absence from work for a few days. I met with my Doctor who said that it is possible that stimulants can trigger problems like I was experiencing. He explained that we all have our own threshold of stress. We can be "fine", but then we can cross this threshold and problems can start to emerge. He explained that it is not just the stress of like. Medications like stimulants are also adding "physical stress". When they were combined, it was too much. He took me off the meds and put me on some heavy anxiety medication for a couple weeks to do "damage control".

The 4th of July "incident" happened while I was on this leave from work! Everything fell apart when I was ALREADY in the midst of feelings as low and as terrible as I had ever felt. Going through a time when medication in my body was affecting my mind and my emotions. Things were so bad that i was not able to function at work. I was having trouble coping with life and I needed to take a week off to adjust my medication and get "stable".

I blogged about how I had a terrible 4th of July. What I didn't say was at that exact same time, the rest of my family fell apart. My grandfather's wife went to the nursing home in June. The 4th of July she came home and it became a crisis on the 6th. The story is so much longer than I want to even publicly tell, but I WILL finally openly say this.. It is not only my Father who I haven't spoken since the 4th. I haven't talked to my mother either.

For months I have not spoken to or seen a single family member. My mother and I went back and forth a bit, but instead of working towards repair, things quickly dissolved and now the rift is huge. I have now told her that I cannot talk to her. Things have deteriorated so bad that I can barley juggle school, "work", and my marriage. I do not have any emotional energy to go down this road right now. I am trying to keep up in school and to even just get our of bed ever day.

What happened with my family was so bad that I would have had a break down already, if nothing else was going on. But this happened when I was already so weak emotionally. I then blogged and you saw...21 days it took to hear anything from my dad. I didn't know where I stood, and I still don't.Weeks passed and neither my mom or dad was calling me. Me dad wasn't calling to work it out and my mom wasn't calling to support and comfort me. I felt so lost and so alone.

When my dad did call after 21 days...he wanted to meet "just us" AND I only had a few days to do it because he was leaving on a trip. My jaw hit the floor. Are you kidding me?! He let me sit here and wait and hurt. Then he he has the nerve to ask me to meet on his timeline? I was SO angry. That week I was booked solid with clients and he was of course so out of touch with me that he didn't know that. I will not lie that I was thankful when I saw he called. I had been waiting...Ever.Single.Day.

I don't think he realized or even to this day does that I felt TOTAL uncertainly for 21 days. That confrontation on the 4th left me sitting on the floor rocking back and forth hysterically crying while James' mother tried to get me to just stop crying and breath. I was literally in the fetal position on the floor at the end of the hallway. I was totally destroyed. I don't know if you can understand, but I felt like I was 8 years old all over again. I felt like a child. I hurt so badly and all those memories came flooding back. It was my worst fear that she really didn't regret the past. It was my worst fear that she really had not changed and that my insecurities about never really being a part of the family, were real. When she said what she said...she confirmed my fears. My dad married her, he chose her. They had kids and it had always been " them" and "me". We were never a family. "They" were a family.

I thought it had gotten better as I became an adult. I thought things were different. I thought I had been accepted as family by her. When she joked about slapping me an then yelled in my face, everything changed. She wasn't the person I thought I had come to know. My husband even said he saw it. He saw it in her face change. He saw her face change. He said that even thought he had heard the stories, it was hard to imagine because "she always seemed so nice". He told me that in that moment, he understood. He saw that mean and angry person. He saw a bully. He was worried when she stepped up to yell in my face, that she was going to hit me. He said he actually stepped forward to protect me. THAT is how f-ed up the situation was.

It was one of the worst family confrontations I have ever had. Especially because it is so deep and 25 years worth of pain. So when he DID reach out, of course I was thankful. I was scared the voicemail would tell me he was finally just going to go live his life with his "new family". I was thankful that it was his usual "not-getting-it-self", where he says sorry and says he is confused.. But beyond the initial relief of finally hearing from him, I was SO angry at his request to see me in a few days. how dare he put me on his time frame?! That was NOT going to happen. So of course I did not call. And I wasn't going to be separated again like I had been for all those years. It involved her. Until SHE wants to talk about this, I don't have a thing to say to either of them. She is partially to blame for the past and she is 100% to blame for the 4th. For talking about slapping me and then yelling in my face that he marriage had been falling apart at the time because of me. It has been months and it still makes me shake and cry to even type those words.

That was July and this is now October. Things have changed and developed in some ways.....but really, it's just the same. I received a letter from my father a few days after the call that did say things about loving me and wishing things had not happened.

A few weeks passed and then the weirdest thing happened! Nothing had been done by the woman who hurt me so badly. No email...no call. Then on my first wedding anniversary I get a card addressed from my dad. I didn't want to look at it so I had James read it to me. I thought was written by my Father. A few hours later I saw it sitting around and I looked and IMMEDIATELY saw the rounded feminine handwriting. It was from HER! She never reached out to deal with the issues and what she did that night. Then I get a card saying "I know we are going thru a hard time ...." and something about how we should remember our happy wedding day. I was SO pissed! I cried so hard. Not only was it a fake-ass slap in the face, it was a rejection from my dad. It wasn't from MY DAD.it was from her!. WTF?!!

This card was mailed at the EXACT same time I was mailing my dad something. I look a blog friends advice and printed off my blog and mailed it to him. At this point, I don't have anything to lose and he should hear the truth of how I feel. He knows what is true and he should know exactly how bad I felt. I never speak to him with honestly. I didn't hear anything after that. That was early August. I assume he is angry.

Ok...so the point of where we are now. Things are total shit, and I really mean it. I cry almost every day. I feel so alone and I have NEVER once been "cut off" from my entire family. Partially by choice and partially not by choice. Even if I was unhappy and things were fake or filled with tension, I have never been without BOTH by dad and my mom. I have felt alone many times in my life but I was never "in a fight"and not talking to them all at the same time.

When you consider that I was on a leave of absence from work because I was having emotional problems and then THIS all happened, it's been terrible. I have been depressed for months. I cried on and off during our trip to Kauai. I have been not eating because of my medication and I have been losing weight. It used to be exciting when I would lose weight, but now it's changed. I keep losing weight because i keep not eating Oh, yeah, back on the adderall. We thought it was just the dose that was too high. We tired another med and I didn't like it. I remembered feeling good before we raised my dose of adderal last time, so we went back to what had worked. But ,I decided last night to stop taking adderall. It's part of the problem. I don't know what is going on with me. I know some of it, but not the full picture. And neither did my doctor. All I know is I feel so depressed and on edge. I am not sure what came first, the chicken or the egg. I don't know how or why. All I know is that the world fell apart, and then I did too.

Leaving my job and starting my new business means that I had to change doctors. I changed a few weeks ago and I need to find a new person,. I need a doc and a counselor. I can't change a lot of things that happen in my life, but I have to find out why I am reacting so badly to everything. Something is really wrong right now. I am not just "down", I am severely depressed. I am in the process of getting connected with the people who can help me, but for months, even with help....things have been so hard. I want to feel better. I want to be happy. I'm trying. I just know that something needs to change soon.

Handsome Hubby

2010-10-14T00:40:00.001-07:00

Last weekend my husband was the Best Man in his best friend's wedding.

I snapped this picture of him standing near the bar, and I just love how it turned out. It's such a cool looking photo. The colors really pop and he looks so handsome! I love my handsome hubby. :-)

Molly's Weight Loss Journey

2010-10-11T20:19:00.000-07:00

Today on my Tailor Made Pet Sitting Blog I told the story about my cat Molly and her journey from "fat" to "not-as-fat" haha!

Bachelorette Party Game w/ a Twist

2010-10-03T00:19:00.002-07:00

Tonight was a good friend’s bachelorette party. My husband is the groom’s best friend and is the best man in the wedding. The bride has always had a big crush on Mike Rowe. You know, that guy from the TV show “Dirty Jobs”. I came up with the idea to modify the standard “Pin the Macho on the Man” game. I attached the head of Mike Rowe and renamed it “A Dirty Job Needs the Right Tool”

I found a picture of Mike Rowe’s face that was about the right size. Then I printed pictures of different “dirty” tools. A jackhammer, a screwdriver, a drill. You get the picture :-)

So, here’s an idea for all of you. Do you have friend who is in love with a celebrity? You can do the same thing! It’s surprisingly easy and a great way to personalize the party.

You can even use the penis stickers they provide and just add a new face! ha-ha!!

"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous." — Albert Einstein

2010-09-23T22:29:00.001-07:00

Do you ever have one of those those days, or even periods in your life, when you feel coincidences everywhere? Sometimes it's events working out so perfectly that it feels like things could have been fated. Other times it feels like the universe is trying to tell you something or deliberately setting you up. Like those times you had your heart broken and it seems that ever song on the radio is all about you and all about broken hearts.

Tonight sat down at my neighborhood coffee shop. I was getting ready to start some homework so I cued up Pandora to shut out the rest of the world and focus. I was floored when the very first song was this Carly Simon song. Not the 2nd song....not the 3rd....the very first song! I turned on my Ipod and clicked Pandora and instantly it was there. Like a smack in my face; "Your father. Your father. Your father......"

Life is really weird sometimes. There was one day when we were on Kauai that I can point to as; "This was a day filled with wonderful coincidences. A day filled with one good thing after another. This was when it started." Ever since that day, I have been having more "weird" experiences. Sometimes it's that perfect day. Other times it's like this......when you would almost swear that the radio was playing that song JUST for you.

Do you ever have days like that?

Carly Simon Coming Around Again Lyrics:
Baby sneezes
Mummy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
So bewildering

[Chorus:]
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing
to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart

You pay the grocer
Fix the toaster
Kiss the host goodbye
Then you break a window
burn the souffle
Scream the lullaby

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing
to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart

And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I'm so in love with you

I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing
to play the game
It will be coming around again
[repeat and fade]

The Bad Blogger and The Pea

2010-09-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

For any of you who are still paying attention to this little blog; "Thank you".

I know I have been the worst blogger lately. I know that I talked about some big and heavy things and then never followed up.

I am sure that most of you can understand when life gets in the way of blogging. Life gets so busy and hectic and messy, that blogging starts to seem impossible.

Let's just say that since my last "life update", nothing has changed. I have not spoken to any of my family in person since the 4th of July. I will talk more about that in another blog.

For the past few months I feel like I have been living the story of "The Princess and the Pea". Emotions and events were too painful to deal with at the time. Things are and were too painful to confront but pushing them aside does not make them disappear.

You have heard the story of the princess and the pea, right? In short....there is a pea under the mattress....and even with 20 mattresses stacked on top, the princess could still feel the pea. That is my life right now.

There are so many things to be happy about. I just returned from 10 days in Kauai. I am about to start my Senior year in college. (after 11 years of trying!) My pet business has been taking off. Life has been so busy that I have been focusing on the good and pushing away "the bad" until it feels like a better time. The problem is; "I can still feel that damn pea!"

Every few days, something happens. I spill the coffee or my husband makes a remark and before I know it, I am in total meltdown mode. I am crying and upset over something so small.....and EVERY TIME is comes back to all the "family" pain I am carrying around. No matter how much I try to just move forward and focus on the good, the pain is just bellow the surface. It keeps leaking in at inopportune times. I cannot tell you how many times I cried while I was on my dream vacation in Kauai. How many times I got pissed about something so small and my husband had to take the brunt of it. ALL because I have this pain under the surface. Problems that neither I or my husband know how to fix.

Things needs to be dealt with and resolved but I am not even sure what to do at this point. When things happened....my new business was starting and before I knew it I was SO busy. Then I was leaving my job and going on vacation to Kauai. Now school is about to start. I am so so so busy, and "life" always has a way of making things fall apart at the worst times. After a busy school year, summer was the time I would have to spend with my family. Instead, a few weeks into break, everything blew up and I have not see or spoken to my family all summer.

I will try to start blogging more and updating about what is happening. Not talking about it is not preventing me from being upset. Instead the anger and pain comes out all the time and when it is totally unexpected. My husband has been so supportive. Through all the times that I have been unfair and blamed him for things because I was angry. All the times that he has had to take the full brunt of this because he was the only one who was THERE.

I am not sure what the solution is, but I know that something needs to change. There are not enough mattresses in the world to cover this "pea".

Aloha!

2010-09-14T22:19:00.002-07:00

We just returned from 10 days in beautiful Kauai!

We went to Kauai for the 1st time in 2008. James proposed on my 29th birthday. Now it is 2010, we have been married just over 1 year, and we were so happy to be back!

My silly husband :-)

A tropical paradise. Living on the west coast.....my husband and I agree that 2 years MAX is our limit between trips.
I heard that people in Hawaii like to call Vegas "The 9ths Island". I told my husband that Kauai is just WEST WEST WEST Washington! :-)

My Husband Will Make A Great Dad

2010-08-26T17:44:00.002-07:00

My friend and her daughter came over this weekend for a lunchtime BBQ. The weather was beautiful, but of course the 5 year old couldn't wait to get her hands on the Wii. :-)

When kids come over to visit, the first question is always "Can I play Wii?!" Many of these kids don't have video games at home (just like we didn't as kids). Kids always love James and he is so good with them. It makes me smile because I can see what an amazing dad he will be. It is one of the things that attracted me to him in very beginning.

I took a little video while James was playing a game with her.

My friend's daughter always makes me laugh. She is so precocious!

"The Only Thing Constant Is Change"

2010-08-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry for being such a bad blogger. I know that I post all my life drama and then kind of fall silent for a little bit. There have been some major life changes going on it's hard to believe how much has changed over the past few months. Life is never black and white. Along with pain and anger comes joy and triumphs. It's really the only thing that has kept me sane. The dogs really saved me. :-)

I quit my job! I gave my two weeks notice and took a huge leap of faith. Business has been so good, and work had gotten so bad. I realized that I could get health insurance through my college and suddenly all my options changed. Never in a million years did I think that I would choose to be self-employed. My husband is self-employed and I am not a big fan of risk when it comes to money. But something was telling me that this was the direction I needed to go in, and I decided to go for it. The 4th of July and the events that followed created what I started calling an "angry power". I was so hurt and upset but at the same time I felt strong. I felt too angry to shut down and cry...I was too angry to feel hurt and weak....this time I needed to make some changes.

I have been in the midst of a huge shift in my life. This was one of those times where you wish that things happened differently but you also know that it is what was needed. If things had not gotten go bad with my family and then with my work, I would have not been pushed into pursuing this dreams. I would have stayed at my job and stayed comfortable. Safe but not happy.

While everything around me felt like it was falling apart, the success of my business made me feel empowered. I looked at how quickly my business has taken off and I felt so proud. I did this all on my own and every part of this business is my own concept.

I cannot tell you how exciting and empowering it is to make money on my terms. To make money doing something I absolutely love, which is spending time with animals. To be free of a boss and to feel totally in control of my life. Nothing makes me smile wider than walking in the house and being greeted by 4 excited dogs. I have been pet sitting for a couple rabbits and I have even learned how to give injections to a diabetic cat. I am not sure what the future holds but right now I am going to dream big. I am not going to let fear hold me back. You never know what you can do unless you try.

I look at these faces and I feel so thankful. I can only imagine how much worse things would be if I didn't have this going on. Not only does this distract me from all the family crap, but the animals bring me real joy. There is no better therapy than a day spent with faces like these! :-)

Staying Put

2010-08-16T18:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it turns out that going "Private" isn't as easy as I thought. I figured that like Facebook or Myspace, I would close out the world but keep all my followers on the "inside" with me. :-) Nope. I guess if I go private I have to start from scratch and invite people. Ok..that is totally not going to happen. I don't know every one's email and that seems like a LOT of work....No.Thank.You!

I guess things will just stay the same. I would rather have people I don't want looking at this than to lose all of you. It's too bad though. I started this as a wedding blog to connect with other bloggers. This was not the place for everyone in my life to go and get the "inside scoop" on me and my life. But I guess that's the price you pay to be a part of this wonderful thing called "the blog community".

Public or Private?

2010-08-15T19:22:00.000-07:00

I am seriously considering making my blog private. Are any of you writing on a private blog?

I like having a public blog. It makes it easier for people to find me and connect with me. But I don't like that it gives other people the ability to just silently stalk me. I have people in my life who read this blog and I am starting to feel like I don't want to share with them. If you are a blogger and I don't "know" you than this is fine but it's creepy to me that there are people in my life who silently read this. People who think they can sit on the sidelines and read all the details of my life. I don't think this is fair to me. I do not want people to have the ability to watch my life if they are not going to be a part of it.

Have you ever thought about making your blog private?

I am still undecided but I am leaning really strongly. I feel like if people don't want to talk to me then they also shouldn't have the right to have a look into my life.

What do you think?

Time Flies When You're Married!

2010-08-06T02:32:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe that on Sunday it will have been one year since our wedding day! On Friday afternoon we are going to make the 4 hour drive and spend the weekend here:

Sun Mountain Lodge!

I have never been here before. This is the type of place that is Sooooo out of our normal price range. But because it is our first wedding anniversary, I really wanted to do something special. We have 2 nights booked in a super fancy room, and a couples massage.

The views look amazing and the weather is supposed to be hot and sunny. I cannot wait to lay by this pool!

I think this special weekend really couldn't come at a better time. A good chance to re-center and focus on what is really important in life.

Puppies! Puppies! Puppies!

2010-08-01T15:36:00.007-07:00

Love cute pictures of puppies? Love funny pictures and videos of dogs? Then follow my Pet Sitting Blog!

I just posted about my weekend spent with Flynn, a 3 month lab puppy.

I would love more followers, and you know you love puppies. So it's a win-win! ;-) hahaha!!!

Following My Bliss

2010-07-31T00:00:00.015-07:00

This is what my life looks like right now. :-)

This month has been crazy. I cannot believe how my new business is taking off. It's really exciting to realize that I may have came up with a great idea. It's not enough for me to just love pets, there has to be a demand for my services. We launched a month ago and James and I have both been amazed by how many clients we have already gotten. I took a risk and it's paying off. This month made me realize one thing: Now is the time for change. I am going to follow my bliss. :-)

I have been blogging about all my adventures on my Tailor Made Pets Blog

I Think I Can, I Think I Can......

2010-07-17T17:39:00.002-07:00

We interrupt what is going to be a long sad story....with some good news. My pet sitting company launched on July 4th and it is really taking off! We have been getting such a great response that it's more than I ever dreamed. I love how life with give you this balance sometimes. Tremendous sadness and tremendous joy......at the same time. It's really odd though. I am really depressed but I am also feeling so happy and hopeful. It's weird.

Check out my site and my blog!

www.tailormadepets.com

www.tailormadepets.blogspot.com

I am really proud of what I have been able to put together. I am feeling such a sense of pride and accomplishment, it's awesome!

Keeping it Real

2010-07-07T15:28:00.005-07:00

It's about to get a lot of more real. What makes a blog good, is not staying on the surface. This is going to change. I have a big month and I am going to start using it. There are still things I will never say and people who are off limits (mom). I have always used the rule "I only say it if I would say it to my grandfather or my boss". That is still my motto, but I am going to try to open up more.

The best blogs give you a real-life glimpse into someone's life. I like to read people who I feel I start to know through their blog. This week....it's about to get a lot more real.

Stayed tuned.....

A Buisness Is Born

2010-07-05T23:48:00.007-07:00

I am so excited to say that Tailor Made Pet Sitting has officially launched! We are starting small and simple. I did the logo and the website myself. I must say through that I am pretty proud of what I was able to do all on my own without any real skills or software. I can't believe I managed to pull it all together at the last minute. I have been planning this for awhile and on Friday my friend pointed out that I was walking in our town's 4th of July parade. What a perfect opportunity to handout fliers and market myself!

This means that with one day's notice, I started from scratch. I made our logo using word and clip art and I created the website using yahoo.

www.tailormadepets.com

Dentist Visit From Hell

2010-06-29T00:00:00.006-07:00

It's such a coincidence that a little while ago Jenna from That Wife wrote about a terrible experience with a doctor, and then last week I had a similar experience. Our situations are very different but the common thread is that we felt a medical professional was very unprofessional and we were rejected and misunderstood.

I have thought about blogging this and at first I didn’t think I would. I don't often get into the really personal parts of my life. It's a weird mix. I am very much out there, but I still am not comfortable putting sharing everything. Bloggers like Mandy or Jenna are much braver than I am when it comes to how much they share. But this is also what makes their blogs so great! My "dental drama disaster" happened last week and I still feel so shaken by the whole thing. . I think it will be cathartic to "Blog-it-Out"

I went to my dentist last week to get a crown, which I have never had before. While they were working on my teeth, I started to feel that my dentist was growing frustrated and irritated with me when I would needed things adjusted like the bite guard for example. I felt really uncomfortable because the dentist was starting to seem short with me. I had been having a tough week and already feeling really sensitive so her attitude was really upsetting me. New things at the dentist can be a little scary because you don't know what to expect. I was also feeling spacey because I was using gas.

At one point they did something that felt very rough and made a lot of noise. I didn’t know what was happening and I was visibly startled. The dentist asked if I was having anxiety and I said that I was. She asked me what was going on and I started to cry. I told her that I was confused because I didn't understand what was going on.

She very sharply retorted that she did not understand why I was confused because they told me exactly what would happen and that was exactly what she was doing.

Her response came across so defensive and harsh. I tried to explain that just because they said "we are going to put in a band to do this filling" meant that I understood what they were talking about. It is shocking that instead of wanting to make sure I was comfortable, they were totally defensive and chastising me for not understanding. She was saying how we talked about this last time and how I knew I was having a crown. She was blaming me for feeling confused. I couldn't believe how rude she was being and I was so upset that I just cried even more.

So here comes little back-story. I have a personality that is a mix of just "me" and having ADHD and Anxiety. I talk fast and if I am upset I talk even faster. I already have a really loud voice, but if I am upset I will unknowingly start to talk louder and louder. My husband tells me that if someone doesn't know me, I can come off as intimidating. He says that I sound like rapid-fire and if someone doesn't know me they may think I am aggressive. Another of my issues that is directly related to my ADHD is the fact that I repeat myself a lot when I am explaining something. When I am upset and a situation feels out of control, I repeat myself even more.

So that being said, when the dentist was responding so uncharacteristically harsh and short with me I started to try to get her to understand me. This is when things really crossed the line. She snapped at me "OK! I hear you! You have repeated yourself like 5 times!!” I was floored. She wasn’t being just sharp with me, she was now being rude and totally over the time. I told her that I had trouble communicating and I am not meaning to repeat myself. A minute later she snapped at me AGAIN about how I was repeating myself. I looked at her and said "Stop! That is so offensive. I have told you that I am trying to talk to you and I have a hard time because I do repeat myself when I am upset and you keep yelling at me for repeating myself." I told her that I was just confused because I did not understand fully that I was getting a filling and a crown and I also did not understand that it was a difficult filing. It made a loud noise and I was startled.

Then to add insult to injury as she is snapping at me that I had been told what was going to happen and someone had talked to me and I had been given it in writing, I said "No, no one talked to me". She suddenly realized that the receptionist was in the hospital and maybe I wasn't told what she thought I had been told. I told her "I made the appointment for the crown and she was going to go over everything with me today. She wasn't here and I was just brought back here." She did not apologize or even back down. She just went on to say that it was "too bad" they were out and I wasn't told. Then the assistant defended herself by saying "I told you about the band". Instead of apologizing for reacting so terribly for what they misunderstood, they just repeated how they had told me some of the info. They blamed me for any misunderstanding or confusion on my part.

What crazy world was I in?! I am at the dentist and I say I am confused and instead of making sure I understand, I am told that I was ALREADY told and why the heck am I acting confused?! This reaction and attitude is so unbelievable. Who treats a patient like that? I did not feel like a patient, I felt like a mouth that they had 2 hours to work on and they needed me to shut up. She never acknowledged that I was upset because of her harsh treatment of me. She never backed down or softened. As I sat there I was realizing that her reaction was even worse than I thought because it was based on misinformation and assumptions on her part. I felt even more wronged and thus even more upset.

I couldn't believe how she was acting. I couldn’t believe that a dentist was treating a patient this way. I was so upset that at this point I was crying and crying and she said "Well at this point you are so upset that we are not going to be able to continue".

Well that was all it took for me to just lose it. I came in for a crown and she already has whittled down my tooth and drilled another tooth for a filling. I am crying because she is mean and now she is telling me that I am so upset that she will not continue?! I have been numbed and gassed and drilled and she was stopping??!!

I looked at her and told her that SHE was the reason I was upset. I wasn't having anxiety because of the dentist. I was upset because she was being so rude and sharp. I told her that she was acting like I was annoying her anytime I needed an adjustment and that I was feeling very sensitive. I was trying to not hold back and tell her I thought she was being terrible and ALSO try to plead that I WASN'T too anxious to continue. The issue wasn't the teeth, I just needed her to calm down and be nicer. But she kept saying no. I was SO upset. I felt so rejected and confused. They would not do the impressions or anything for the crown after the already drilled it down. They would not do the filling after they had already drilled everything. The dentist told the assistant to put the temporary crown on and to put the temporary filling in. I was SO upset. I sat there and cried and it took me at least 10 min to stop crying. I would calm down but then I would cry again. I was THAT upset and shaken.

The assistant starting working and all of a sudden the Novocain wore off and I couldn't breathe because air was so painful when it hit the tooth. This just increased my inner freak out. I have this tooth hurting because you opened it and now you won’t finish! I had to have more injections to be able to calm the pain. As the assistant was working I heard her talking to someone and realized that they didn't even finish what was needed for the crown to be made and I would need to come back and do a 1st crown appointment all over again.

But guess what? It gets WORSE!

Once the assistant was done I realized I was going to have to start over and was leaving with just a temporary crown and temporary filling. I told her I did not think it was right and I wanted to talk to someone. She was obviously really frustrated with me. She came back with the dentist and this time the dentist let me talk. Before when I was trying to talk to her she was cutting me off and snapping at me for repeating myself.

I thought that if I explained myself now that things were a bit calmer that maybe she would understand. I explained to her that we stopped because I was upset with her actions, not too scared for the treatment. I had become upset because of how she had treated me and it was not right that due to this I was not being treated fully. I said "Will you please at least acknowledge that you reacted based on misinformation?." She snapped that she acknowledged it and had said it was "too bad that I was not told and she was out".

Then it turned crazy. She started to say that because I was repeating myself she was starting to feel beat up and that I was intentionally beating her down. I told her that I had already told her that I am not trying to repeat myself. She then said that she thought I was doing it on purpose. She said "you are repeating yourself to hurt me. It’s like I hurt you and you want to hurt me. It's like you want to stab me". OMG OMG OMG!!!.......things have gone totally insane. I almost got my purse and left because all of a sudden it was feeling scary. She went from being snippy and rude and now she is talking to me like I want to physically attack her? Her perception and reactions were so bizarre that I felt so confused. I looked and her like she was crazy and said I didn’t even know what to say to her. Then she started pointing out how I talk with my hands and said that I was raising my hands in an aggressive way. Here I am......crying.......and crying the whole time saying how hurt I was and now she was saying that I was being aggressive and threatening?! I really did almost just leave. I felt so confused and she seem so unstable that I almost just ran.

Then her crazy just continued. She flipped all of a sudden from being very defensive and paranoid to seeming about to cry and really emotionally unstable. She started to speak very quietly about how hard it is for her and she is trying to protect me while using a drill. And she went on like this for a min or two. This flip made me feel even more weirded out. Then she said she would be willing to finish the work but I needed to see the other dentist because obviously our relationship was severed. It was so weird. I have been seeing this dentist for almost 2 years. She always had had a very intense and often rushed personality, but this wasn't my first time there. I have had a relationship with this dentist and I was so confused. I felt really rejected. I had invested all this time with this dentist and we were about to start a summer of major work and suddenly everything changed. She had flipped thru so many mood and reactions and every single one was so inappropriate. She was a dentist and I was a patient. I have never really argued with a doctor. I have never had an interaction like this and more than anything I am so shocked at the total lack of any professional mask.

I of course realized that I couldn't go back there. I am going to a new dentist tomorrow who I found after looking for a dentist who had a good bedside manner. haha! I left with temporaries and have been sore all week. I am still so angry by the whole situation. It's also hard to not also feel down on myself. I have been encountered a lot of "push back" lately from people scolding me for repeating myself or needing additional clarification. Needless to say....it's been a long couple weeks.

Dreaming Big

2010-06-22T22:40:00.008-07:00

I have been thinking about an idea for a few weeks and I am finally ready to blog about it. I guess that means it's real, right? :-)

I am going to start a pet sitting business!

I love animals and am starting to realize that more than just being a pet lover, I have a passion for pets. I live in a great neighborhood filled with families. I see many of them while we are all out walking our dogs. With summer breaks and all the warm weather, many of these people will be going on vacation. Sometimes they are lucky and have a friend or neighbor who can watch their pet, but some people do not have that option. Many times people will kennel a dog, which is very expense and always makes the owner feel a little sad.

So here's my idea: Bring them to me!

I have the time and the space. Our house isn't big, but it's big enough and we have a fenced yard. Though a dream like this is huge for me, I am not dreaming big. I am not trying to create an empire. :-) I am looking to turn my love of animals and my open summer schedule into a way to earn money. I love being around animals and it would be a dream to make money while playing with other people's dogs.

I live in a neighborhood that is called "Westhill". I am thinking about just sticking with my neighbors. I like the idea of being very local and someone being able to easily meet me. We are all in the same neighborhood and I think that ads to the sense of security for the pet owner.I want to offer pet sitting for cats and dogs in the their home, or having up to 2 dogs in my home.

But first I need a name!

This is one of the reasons I come to you, the bloggers. I need some help. A spark of creative genius. I want a name that is cleaver and unique. I also want it to say who I am and what I offer.

I don't want to just be "Westhill Pet Sitting". My husband has a really clever name for his landscaping business and I know how important a good name can be. I have been trying to think of names but I am not coming up with anything I like. Some of the ideas I have had were "Westhill Wags & Whiskers" or "Bothell Buddies". They work but I don't think they are what I am looking for.

Another idea is "No place like home pet sitting" and I could use ruby slippers in the logo. Or maybe I could call it "Ruby Slipper Pet Sitters" and have a tag line "there's no place like home". This communicates that the pet is not at a kennel, and is at their own home or my home. So far this is the best I have come up with, but I don't think it's "the one".

I can't start a business without a name!

Anyone wanna help play the "Name Game" with me?

Word ideas:

Bothell

Westhill

Pet Sitting

Home

At Home

In Home

My Home

Your Home

Dogs

Pets

Laura

Neighbors

Neighborhood

Exploring Edmonds Artfest

2010-06-21T23:40:00.002-07:00

On Saturday we wanted to get out of the house but we didn't really know what to do. I looked online and saw that Edmonds Art Fest was going on, so we decided to check it out. It was a lot of fun and the best part, it was totally free! We lusted after all the neat things to buy, but didn't spend a dime. Way to go CheapWife! As you may notice, it was a really gray day. Thankfully it wasn't raining or cold, but we here in the Northwest are getting a little antsy. Bring on the summer sunshine already!

Of course we had to get in a couple self-shots.

I brought my camera and took pictures of some of my favorite vendors. Taking pictures of pretty stuff is almost as fun a buying pretty stuff. ;-)

I loved the Whoopsy Daisy booth! Everything was so bright and vibrant. These "purses" blew me away. Looking at all the brightly colored kids stuff makes me really eager for an excuse to buy things like this one day. ;-)

How cute are these?!

These flowers were my favorite thing at the fair. All brightly colored glass, they were gorgeous. Sadly they were also almost $300. If only I was a little older and "richer", I would own a few of these.

All the color and detail was amazing. I am a huge fan of glass and I just couldn't get enough of this book. Everything was just stunning! Imagine how pretty these would look in a garden. I bet they almost glow in the sunlight.

They had little insects & bugs too!

I was so impressed with the idea this man came up with. I tried to find his company info but he doesn't have a website listed. He made walking sticks with a compass on the top!

I told him that this was genius! What hiker wouldn't love a stick with a built-in compass?! These are the times when I wish I had come up with such a great idea. I need to come up with my "million dollar idea".

I laughed when I saw this statue of a man with"bare buns" and wearing and apron. I told my husband that this was now how I expected him to cook every meal! hahaha!!!

It's always neat to see people while they are making their crafts. This woman was making another basket by hand.
This booth won an award and I could see why. It was really neat how they arranged all the flowers and made a little path.

All these flowers are made out of metal. Aren't they cool?! I was starting to notice that I was gravitating towards all the art that involved colorful flowers.

These roses were my favorite. It amazes me what artists can do sometimes. I am not very artistically inclined so people who can make such beauty really impress me.

The company is called Shipwreck Metal Art, but I couldn't find a website for them. It's too bad because I would love to give a link.

I adored this booth by Glass Devine. Everything was just gorgeous and that trellis is amazing.

I loved the "water wall"

It was ALL so pretty!

The festival offered a shuttle to your car, a yellow school bus! I laughed so hard because I haven't been on a school bus in maybe 15 years. It's funny how weird it felt......also felt like yesterday. All in all it was a great little outing. It was free, it was fun, and it didn't rain. Sadly in the northwest, a June day without rain is a sucess! haha!

A Boring Life...On Purpose

2010-06-15T20:49:00.002-07:00

I have a friend who is currently dealing with some drama and I was reminded why my life is the way it is. I have chosen to have a simple, if not almost boring life. I really love how predictable my life can be at times and I wouldn't have it any other way.

When I was younger I would always surrounded by different people. I was and still am a very social person. The problem is that we are all effected by the people around us. People who are negative or "high drama/high stress" can make our lives become the same way. As a teenager I didn't mind the ups and downs and excitement. Drama was just a part of life. Then around age 22 I realized; "You control what you allow into your life. If you don't like that your life is filled with drama and stress, then change it!" It was as if I suddenly realized that I was in control of my life and my experiences. Instead of being bounced around, I would take control of my life. I could have a life that was more stable and I would create a safe space that didn't allow for toxic people. For the past ten years I have been very anti-drama in my life and with my close friends. Don't get me wrong..........s%*t happens, but I try to not live my life on that constant roller coaster. I don't chase the drama in life. I like things to be nice and boring. :-)

Listening to my friend's troubles I am reminded how much I love my life. For the most part my life is calm and simple. I may be home every Friday night, but my life feels stable. I would take a boring and stable life over life filled with drama and excitement.

What about you? Have you changed over the years?

Have you ever chosen a boring life on purpose?

Blissful in Bothell

2010-06-12T11:21:00.009-07:00

In the summertime our backyard is my favorite place to be. These are the perks of being married to a landscape designer. :-) I feel so lucky to have such a beautiful , peaceful and relaxing space. I am always so relaxed and content when I spend time sitting out here.

My husband gives us such a beautiful green lawn. I'm a lucky lady!

After my husband mowed the lawn yesterday, I snapped some pictures. It is pure bliss sitting there with the smell of fresh cut grass and the sounds of birds singing overhead. These are the moments where I feel so thankful for my wonderful life right now. I love my life, my home, and my husband.

I love our patio set. We spend a lot of time here in the summer.

We recently bought a bunch of bird feeders and I love how many birds he have now. Word travels fast with birdies. haha!

I like to look over and see all our pets surrounding us and looking so happy as they nap. I joke that this is our dog's favorite time of year because we can all be together and be outside. (Her two favorite things. She is a people dog! haha)

Oscar-the-Cat LOVES Izzie-the-Dog. lol!!

Molly loves to lay among the plants in the garden. We call her "Jungle Kitty".

Summer Fun

2010-06-09T22:24:00.009-07:00

I am on summer break!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All the finals are done, every paper turned in, and I am now officially on school break for over 3 months! I can't even believe it. That feels SO long right now. It's awesome!

I plan to spend tons of time with my husband and I can't wait for all the fun things we are going to do. We have been really disconnected since the start of the year, and it makes me sad because this is our first year of marriage. I joke that this Summer we are going to make-up for all the fun we should have been having. I can't tell you how many weekends I have spent in my pajamas, not leaving the house once because I had a paper or project to finish. We were laughing tonight and I told my husband; "I can't believe that now I will be able to shower on the weekends...or leave the house." He replied,"Maybe you can even do BOTH in one day!" haha! It's sad but that is really how lame I have been lately. I have been working so hard to keep up at and do well in school. This means that everything else has taken a backseat, including my marriage.

This past weekend I did not leave the house one time. We are not doing that this summer! We are getting out and having fun. There are so many things to be done when it's summertime. I am a Washington native but there are so many things I have never done. Maybe this summer I will finally go to Mt. Rainer, or Mt. Saint Helens.

I have never been to Cannon Beach in Oregon and I have always wanted to take the Victoria Clipper to Victoria. The San Juan islands are beautiful, and nothing beats a beautiful ferry ride in the summer.

I would love to take James horseback riding because I don't think he has even ridden a horse. I can't wait to go camping and I have always wanted to stay in one of those "yurts".

Our 1st wedding anniversary will be in August and we are going to take a trip to some fancy hotel. In September we are traveling back to Kauai for 10 days! The last (and first) time we were there was when James proposed in 2008. It feels fitting to be going back after a year of marriage.

This summer is going to be such fun! There are SO many things to do and I can't wait to do them all with my husband!

It's Like A Free Shopping Spree...For AudioBooks!

2010-06-05T00:06:00.001-07:00

I have talked before about how much I love audio books. I have been a big fan of Audible.com for a couple years, but buying audio books can get very expensive very fast. I can burn through a good audio book in a few days. This is a problem when they run $10-$20 each. Even worse is that when I buy a book and I don't like it. I would try to force myself to stick it out but eventually I would give up and regret the wasted money.

This all changed a few weeks ago when I heard that you can download audio books for free from the library! What?! Free audio books?! All this time I have been PAYING for something I could have gotten for FREE??!!!

Whenever I think "shopping spree" I just can't help but see this. haha!

This was so exciting for me. As I looked through page after page of free audiobooks , I felt like I was on a shopping spree. I have been paying good money for this stuff before, so I really see the value of getting it for free. When I download a book I always think about the $20 that I didn't pay. It still amazes me that I can download books from the library over the internet. The little 'ol library is really getting with the times.

They use a program called "Overdrive". I looked at the program's website I think that anyone may be able to access these books regardless if your local library participates. All you have to do is visit the Overdrive site and download the software.

The library may be free but it is nowhere near as good as Audible. That is the only draw back. You can find almost any audio book there is on Audible but the library selection is much smaller. But I am ok with this because they are FREE, and there are still hundreds of books to choose from. They are also always adding more books to the site, and I was really impressed with how current their selection was. They have classics but they also have books that came out only a few months ago.

I still am excited about this discovery and it's been a few weeks. Now I can listen to all the books I want and if I don't like a book, I don't have to feel guilty about the money.

There is nothing a CheapWife loves more than FREE STUFF!

My Favorite Sites for Friday Funnies

2010-06-04T16:00:00.001-07:00

Happy Friday!!

I wanted to just do a fun and easy post today. I have finals coming up and I am a little bit scattered and also having major case of "short-timers". So I felt like keeping it light and funny. I wanted to share 2 of my favorite websites. If I am ever looking for a laugh, these two never let me down.

The first site is on that I am sure most of you have heard of my now. If you have never heard of "I can haz cheezeburger" then you have really been missing out. This site uses pictures of animals and adds funny captions.

This site also has about a dozen sister sites. These are the people who came up with all those "FAIL pictures". There is a new section called "Historical LOLZ". This picture makes me laugh every time I look at it. haha!

The other site that I love is called "Some Ecards". A couple years ago a co-worker sent me a card from this site. It was so funny and what I loved was that the humor was really sarcastic and off color. This is my sense of humor. ;-)

I absolutely love this site and I almost always find a picture/card that I can send to friends for any random occasion. I also love this site because the jokes seem so fresh and new. I laugh so hard at the humor they come up with. They are so creative.

Forty Years Is Not Forever

2010-06-01T15:48:00.004-07:00

I am always sad when I see that a couple who has been married, 20, 30, 40+ years splitting up. Today the news announced that Al & Tipper Gore are separating after 40 years of marriage.

As a newlywed who is trying to settle into the idea that this is safe and will last forever, it is always unnerving when you see long-time couples divorce. The outside world can never know what happens behind closed doors. No one can ever really know what broke a marriage apart except the two people involved.

I always wonder though, why? Why after all these years? Why at this age? It feels like marriages are so fragile and even after 40 years, you can't count on it to keep standing. As a newlywed this is a really scary thought. I am sure that I am just like everyone else when I tell myself "These people are not me. They must have not really tried or maybe they have real issues like abuse or affairs. This will not happen to my marriage. I am different." But any halfway intelligent person is aware that every single person thinks that "they are not the one who will get divorced". No one walks down the aisle thinking that they will eventually head towards divorce. We all start off in love and thinking about nothing but the best. We don't think divorce will ever happen to us.

So what makes these people different? What can split up the Gore marriage after 40 years? I don't understand when people who divorce say that they "grew apart". Is this really a reason for divorce? In my opinion, it is not. I have no idea what happened with the Gore marriage, and maybe there are some very valid reasons. All I know is that it is hard to be a newlywed now-a-days. From John & Kate, to Tiger Woods and Jessie James. Everywhere you look marriages are falling apart and people are doing terrible things to each other. It's a scary world to start a new marriage.

A Rainy Holiday Weekend

2010-05-29T15:21:00.008-07:00

What's a Memorial Day weekend in the Pacific Northwest without some rain?! It's sad...but it's true. While the rest of the country is enjoying the sunshine and wearing shorts, we here in Washington are still wearing long sleeves and carrying our umbrellas.

We have a local saying around here; "Summer starts in Seattle on July 5th". The joke is that we often have rain on the 4th of July and June is usually just an extension of rainy spring. By the time July rolls around we can actually plan on having some summer weather. So while the rest of the country is spending this weekend boating at the lake and sporting their summer clothes, we have a solid month left in our rainy season.

Sometimes though Mother Nature will cut us a few favors, and tomorrow is supposed to be one of those times. We are hosting a backyard BBQ party tomorrow as a way to kick back, relax, and have some fun with our friends. It has been raining for 2 days straight, but tomorrow is supposed to be the one nice day of the weekend. We have been promised some sun and temps in the mid 60's. (hey, this is Washington. We consider mid 60's a very nice day! haha!) The idea of having 20 people in our house while it rains outside is not so appealing . I really hope that the weather holds up it's end of the bargain because we have burgers and beer and are ready to a backyard bbq, not a LIVING ROOM BBQ! haha!

UPDATE: 7:00pm Nevermind....now rain IS expected. My only hope it that the weather is never predictable here. Come'on sun...you can do it!!

I am so happy for this time of year to be here again. I love having BBQs and sitting outside with friends while enjoying the sun and good conversation. Like most people, this is my very favorite time of the year. When the weather gets nice is seems as though there are so many more possibilities that open up. You can go to the beach, or go camping, or you can just sit in your backyard with some friends. I am praying for a little sunshine tomorrow. Our BBQ tomorrow will be a little preview of all the fun times I will be able to have once I am on break from school in 2 weeks. Bring on the summertime!

The best explanation of our summer can be seen in this hilarious clip. We used to have a local Saturday night comedy show that was called "Almost Live". They came out with some of the funniest skits that played on our local humor. "Seattle Summer" is by far of of their best bits ever! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09tb8luF82c

*Unfortunately it's protected so I cannot embed and can only add the link. But trust me, this is worth it!

Fun? What's That?

2010-05-24T23:22:00.007-07:00

Today was Monday so the usual question around the office was; "Did you do have a good weekend? Did you do anything fun?". I feel like such a Debbie Downer now-a-days when I laugh and grumble; "Fun? ha! No, I am in school. I just stay and do homework on the weekends. I will do fun things again when it's summer break!"

At this point in the year I am tired and worn out. Don't get me wrong, I am so happy to be close to achieving my goal of a degree, but it takes a lot of hard work. After over a decade of being in school on and off, and currently 3 years straight, I am tired. I am working part-time while juggling 4 classes and a new marriage. My weekends are not for fun and blowing off steam, they are for catching up on chores and doing school work. I am so ready for all of this to finally be over. I still have one year left but the idea of 3 months off is all I need to keep me going. :-)

I have joked that I am just going to collapse and sleep for an entire weekend! I am so excited to have no obligations when I am home from work. Right now I feel like I can never just "be home". Almost always when I am at home I am either working on classwork of feeling the pressure of the work I need to complete. I rarely just sit around with my husband and hang out. We don't spend time together watching TV or going fun places on the weekends because I always have something that needs to be done. Especially this quarter when 2 of my classes have online assignments due every Saturday and Sunday. There is honestly never a break right now. I have been able to keep up and do pretty well, but I am desperately in need for a break.

In just a couple weeks I will come home from work realize that I don't have anything that I have to do. Sitting here tonight, with an 8 page paper due tomorrow, a test on Wednesday, and a long hard week of finals still ahead, summer vacation sounds like a dream. A beautiful beautiful dream. haha!